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Want to make an easy $101,000? That’s what the “San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival” will give away to the “Best of Festival” Jubilee award winner this year.
You know the Bible, right? How hard can it be? Find a friend handy with an AG-HVX200 P2 HD Camcorder, another who has stories, an underwriter, and you’re in business.
“Okay, so what does a Christian film look like?” one of you asks over lattes at Starbucks, your pens poised above blank sheets of paper.
“It tells it how it is,” replies Johnny. “The Christian is nothing if not a prophet of truth.”
“Um (slightly embarrassed), Johnny, I hope you’re using the word ‘prophet’ metaphorically,” says Bill. “We don’t talk that way in my church…Now where were we? O yes, ‘tells how it is.’”
“Excuse me,” interrupts Stephanie, “when you say ‘tells it how it is,’ do you mean we allow foul language and blasphemy, you know, if it’s part of the character?”
“Of course not,” says Johnny. “That’s not necessary to the character. It’s just gratuitous, like the obligatory sex scenes? Remember what they did to
“How would you feel about a scene where this guy travels around with his prostitute, and then when the queer townsfolk want to have sex with him, he offers her to them instead and they have their way with her all night, and then she crawls back to the house and dies on the doorstep and the guy cuts her up into pieces and mails her to twelve counties?” asks Bill.
(Cold silence, and then Bill) “It’s in the Bible.”
“We might need to talk about distinctions between images appropriate for books but not appropriate for viewing….Another latte please.”
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Gloomy conservatives
Ive seen ads for this film festival in WORLD. What I’ve never seen in the ads (or heard over radio in San Antonio when I lived there) was the location of ANY theaters showing these films.
Sounds like something cooked up by Vision Forum!
Thank you, Andree, for bringing a wee bit of sense into the “Christian film” field.
It’s always fun to realize that Hollywood is often more tame than the Bible, in terms of sex and luridness, since God accurately describes the world He made, and allows to exist, in Scripture.
Additionally, I don’t believe any theaters are showing these. It’s a film festival in San Antonio, shown at some convention center.
Even most “normal” Christian films get very limited showings, since most of them are simply awful by Hollywood standards (which are arguably cinema standards, let’s face it).
I can’t imagine anything more boring than a Christian film festival. Honestly, I think I’d rather attend a preaching conference.
Then go to one, Night Train. And do have fun!
That hypothetical conversation was hilarious! One quirky thing about contemporary evangelicalism is our penchant for maintaining a nice, clean little “Jesus bubble” where no bad things can get in. Ironically, the Bible itself deals with the actual trouble of the real world.
My 14yo son and I were recently talking about profanity and he asked why it’s bad to say “the s word” but okay to say “poop.” I explained to him that the Bible instructs us to refrain from course speech, but indeed, profanity is one of the areas where Christians “major on the minors.” If we don’t cuss, but have hearts lacking in Christian love, we certainly have skewed priorities.
“coarse speech” - duh!
Ive seen ads for this film festival in WORLD. What I’ve never seen in the ads (or heard over radio in San Antonio when I lived there) was the location of ANY theaters showing these films.
Yeah, well there’s probably a reason for that. I’m guessing it’s because most of the movies (actually probably all of them) are poorly written, poorly acted, and poorly directed. And the subject matter is boring to boot. But I could be wrong.
“queer townsfolk”?
Gosh, I hope Anlir and Luke and RDean don’t see this!
Specific Examples:
Facing The Giants - Nice try, good intentions. Too much telling (read preaching) instead of showing. Pie in the sky ending over the top. Couple should have remained infertle to be believable.
The Hiding Place - Long time since I saw it, but I remember it being closer to a good film that theater-goers could watch.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose - Top shelf. Brought a spiritual discussion into the mainstream.
One thing that’s always irked me to no end about Christian “alternatives” in media is how people assume that simply because something is marketed as “Christian,” people will buy it, regardless of quality. The second thing that irks me is how Christians actually do buy it- often in spite of quality.
Now of course, that does not apply 100% to every Christian movie, group, or publisher, but the point stands. If Christians are supposed to be the best at whatever they do, and if they’re supposed to be doing all things “as unto the Lord,” then Christian media (whether or not said alternatives should even exist is another debate entirely) should be the best in whatever field.
Christian movies should be well written and of high quality; Christian albums shouldn’t sound like they were recorded in a garage. Christian music has made great strides in the “sound quality,” department, though Christian movies still seem to come up lacking.
Of course, I should probably stop here before I start ranting (and rambling) about the stale and trite subject matter of most “Contemporary Christian Music.”
Maybe I was just spoiled by Steve Taylor.